i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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