So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
