so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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