I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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