that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We are two peas in an std pod
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
