I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
