I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think my moral compass just broke
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
