summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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