saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
