please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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