i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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