i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
