She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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