Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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