ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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