So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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