THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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