My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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