After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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