i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
