It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
