i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
