In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
