doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
