i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize