sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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