Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
