ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
