that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I faked an abortion last night.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
