What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
we should paint friendship bongs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
