So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
