The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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