Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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