I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
