just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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