FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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