I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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