I murdered the dance floor call the cops
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
