Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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