and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
