I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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