It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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