The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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