Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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