I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
