Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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