I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
