is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
