I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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