i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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