There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
