The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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