Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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