So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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