So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
