Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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