Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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