I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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