Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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