grandma shit on top of the toilet
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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