my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
