I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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