Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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