I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize