You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
